Seven Weeks

Norah is now seven weeks old. The past two nights she slept through the night again, so hopefully she'll keep up the good work! :)

She is still sleepy most of the day...

But is getting more alert, as you can see.

It is such a joy and privilege to take care of Norah. She is a precious gift from God! I was thinking the other day of how much Ray loves her, and how he wants to spoil her with his love and attention. He can't wait 'til she's old enough for him to buy her gifts, and to make her happy by buying her things (haha). But then that reminded of my heavenly father. He also has spoiled me with so many gifts that I don't deserve. Sometimes I feel guilty because I know I don't deserve anything, but then I thought what if Norah felt guilty and didn't want a gift from Ray? Woudln't that dishonor him? It's amazing that just as much as Ray would receive glory and joy from his child enjoying his gifts, that is the same with the Lord. He receives glory when I simply accept the gifts he's so generously given to me. When I receive his gifts, thank him, and acknowledge him as the giver of all good things, that brings glory to God. I don't deserve anything, but he's given me sooooo much. I am so sinful beyond even my own understanding, but God's love and generosity is also beyond my understanding. Thinking this way helps me to also accept trials from God's hand...because I can trust in his perfect love and his desire for me to be sanctified. (So, yes, even when my legs are covered with itchy eczema rashes, I CAN, by God's grace, rejoice because I have already been given so much!) =)

Five weeks old

Norah is now five weeks old! Last night, she slept until 6:30 am! I couldn't believe it when I woke up and saw the clock. For a moment I thought I woke up at night to feed her and just forgot about it, but no, she actually did sleep through the night! My first restful night in five weeks - praise the Lord :)

Here are some things Norah loves to do:

Playing with daddy...

Daddy makes her smile a lot.

Staring contests with mommy...

Falling asleep in her swing...

Falling asleep and smiling during tummy time...

In fact, Norah LOVES to sleep

And sleep some more!

Tummy Time

Norah is able to lift her head up now!

My Parents' Visit

It was such a huge blessing to have my parents come visit us a few weeks ago. They got to meet Norah, the newest addition to our family, and bond with all three grandkids this time.

Every time my parents come, I am reminded of just how blessed I am to have parents who love and fear the Lord. I know my sister said this in her blog, but it's so true that every blessing in my life is somehow a direct result of their faithful prayers for me. I hope that one day, Lord willing, Norah can say that about my prayers for her!

Mom got to stay for two whole weeks, which I think is the longest she has ever stayed with us! She was such a servant, cooking up delicious korean food and helping with the baby. Spending time with her was so sweet. Somehow, when mom is near, everything in life seems to be okay. No worries, just security and comfort. It's crazy to think that now I am a mommy to little Norah and that I will be that same source of comfort to her. How can that be? I feel like I am still a little baby (Ray can attest to that..haha), and now I am experiencing the burdens and joys of motherhood myself!

It was, and always is hard to say "bye" to mom and dad. I wish that they lived closer, but I know in my heart that the relationship me and my sister enjoy with them is due to the fact that they aren't closeby. God has been so good to our family. I see how faithful the Lord has been and it makes my heart well up with thankfulness.

Now that mom is gone and Ray's back at work, I feel like I am living "real life" now. I'm the one in charge of Norah during the day, and sometimes I admit it's really daunting and overwhelming caring for such a little one. What's been sweet, though, is that I really sense the Lord's nearness throughout the day. Even when I haven't been faithful to seek after him, I know he is near, loving me unconditinally and concerned about all of my little worries. I see all the more now how I need to depend on him for every thing in life, big and small. I am so helpless and my faith is so weak, but that's precisely why the Lord is near - he knows I can't do anything without him!

Thank you for coming, grandma and grandpa! See you in Hawaii soon!!

What happened to our little Norah?

Norah is already almost a month old! We can't believe it and are amazed at how quickly she's growing. She outgrew her newborn diapers and even fits into size 3-6 month onesies! :(

So far, she's been a great eater (as you can see) and a great sleeper. We're so thankful! I don't know how long the good sleeping will last, so I am enjoying it now. She fusses a little before I put her down for her naps, but after a good swaddle and a few minutes with the pacifier she's out.

Being a new mom has taught me so much about myself and about God. I see more of the ugliness of my sins - my impatience, anger, lack of faith, anxiety, etc etc. But I am also seeing a glimpse into God's love for us as his child. Even though I love Norah SO much, my love is tainted and flawed at best. Not so with God's love. His love for me is perfect and pure, and so much more than my love for Norah. Also, seeing how dependent Norah is on me for every facet of her being shows me how much I need the Lord. I am utterly helpless without him! I'm sure there is infiintely more to learn as I begin this journey of motherhood, and I hope that I can always depend on my good shepherd to carry me through any difficulties that lie ahead.

Anyways, here are some pictures of our growing baby.

This is what happens when daddy swaddles her...

She's growing already

We went to the doctor today for Norah's two week check up and turns out she's already gained a whole pound! She's now 7 lbs 9 oz and 20 inches long. Our little girl is already growing! We're so thankful that she's growing and doing well. I'm learning to cherish these times when she's a little baby.

Here are some recent photos. The last one is proof that she is eating well. :)

A Baby Story

When I was pregnant I would watch TLC's "A Baby Story" and always end up in tears when the baby was born. I wondered what my own baby story would be like as anticipation welled up inside of me. Only the Lord knew what my labor and delivery would be like so I had no choice but to lift it up to Him and trust that He knew best.

Ray and I really wanted to go to CBC's annual retreat. We made it for the first night and thought maybe Norah would wait just long enough for us to stay. Norah, on the other hand, had plans of her own. After a long night of strong but irregular contractions, I woke up with the feeling that labor would happen soon. As soon as I told this to Ray, I felt my water break at 7:30 a.m. We rushed to the hospital and by 8 am I was having strong and regular contractions...craziness!

We got to the hospital by 9 am after making a McDonalds detour for some sausage mcmuffin with egg. I was a sight to behold - a 9 month pregnant lady stuffing her face with McDonalds in the car inbetween painful contractions. I couldn't help by laugh at myself. Anyways, when we got to Cedars Sinai I was admitted to the pre-labor room where I experienced contractions for another 2 1/2 hours until I got the epidural around 11 am. By then I was 4-5 cm dilated. I was then given a the smallest dose of pitocin to help things along and moved to the actual labor and delivery room. One important note: I LOVE EPIDURAL!!! Praise God for the comforts of modern medicine. I don't think I could've gone through without it. :)

After the epidural it was just a matter of waiting. We expected to be ready to push around 8 pm since the nurses said it takes about 1-2 hours to dilate just one cm. So, I got comfortable and enjoyed Cedars' delicious italian ice pops. At 3 pm I had a fun conversation with my sister on the phone where I told her I still had to wait a while, and got another exam as soon as I hung up. Lo and behold, by 3:15 or so I was fully dilated and Norah was ready to come out!! I couldn't believe it all happened so fast. Doctor Sumen arrived at 3:45 and after about four sets of pushes, Norah emerged into this world at 4:09 pm. God was SO gracious to have me push for only 20 minutes - something that rarely happens with your first baby.

The doctor put Norah directly onto my belly after she was born and though I thought I would be bawling, I was actually laughing and just utterly relieved and amazed that she was healthy and that everything had gone so smoothly. Ray bravely cut the umbilical cord as the nurses cleaned up the baby. Having my baby in my arms was such a precious moment that I will truly cherish.

That's the birth story in a nutshell. We stayed at the hospital for 2 nights and came home on Monday morning. Since then it seems like it's been one long day. God is definitely giving us grace, though, despite all of the physical and emotional difficulties. When I'm tempted to give in to discouragement and sadness, I know that the Lord is near. I've been meditating on the Psalms and especially Psalm 24. God is my refuge and I know that He will continue to strengthen us for ALL that we need. I know we'll look back on this time with warm fuzzies, even though it's difficult now.

Praise God for His wonderful blessings. We can't believe we have a daughter and that we are parents!